NEWS 234:－ I can't believe my telescope... England holds out her arms to Kossuth!..

NEWS 55: AN EFFECT OF THE DEMOLITION WORKS IN PARIS. Certainly here's where I live... and I can't even recover my wife!

NEWS 31: GALILEO －Perhaps it would not have put you out, my fine Joshua, to stop it once more, in order to delay my demonstration

[NEWS 142]: PALMISTRY, THE NEW PASS-TIME OF GOOD PARISIANS － Adélaïde... I've searched in vain... I can't find the little line which foretells long life... my God!... must I die in the prime of life!..

NEWS 106: － Miss prud'homme [sic], I have learnt that the English are going to come again to contend for the Paris grand prix, my patriotism makes it a duty for me to prepare for the struggle

Women Socialists 7: Oh! You are my husband, oh! you are the master... well, I have the right to bundle you out of your home... Jeanne Derouin proved that to me yesterday evening!... go and explain yourself to her!..

FISH-CULTURE 6: － Do you see my two trout? － No... not very well. － There... on the left... next to my salmon － That's odd... I cam't even make out the salmon,... it's perhaps owing to the fact that this opera-glass is poor

Ancient History 18: Today's witticism. What is Diogenes doing with a lantern? / Said the elegantly turnd-out Dandies to themselves. / Sirs, I am looking for a man, and with my slow, dim eye. / I can't see him; said he: those words really annoyed them (Attempt at poetry by Mr. de Rambuteau)

NEWS 203: Casmajou－ I think that the time has come to claim as the price for my devotion the reward of a frock-coat! Ratapoil－ Well, now, do you think my boots leave nothing to be desired in connection with the sole! (Together)(in chorus)－ Oh, the ingratitude of Governments!

NEWS 184: AN UNLUCKY FIGHTER: See, here, my friend Léon, gulp this down for me... it's Argenteuil balsam...it's worked every time one of my men has been unwise enough to separate from my gang and has got a frightful beating up!...another time, don't go out alone against the majority!..

NEWS 7: － It seems I spy over there a little dog which isn't muzzled!... － Fear nothing, Mr. Robichon; if it approaches, I'll throw my sniff-box in its eyes!

PARISIANS TYPES 30: －My God! Missus Bombec, what hit you? －Don't mention it,dear lady, the horror! the world's become so ferocious that I'd rather be the gatekeeper at the zoo. You know that Bezuchet on the fifth floor who tells everyone that her not-so great daughter, whose filling out nicely round the waist, has become Whatdropical. Me, I just said: oh yeh! －And that's the creature that... －by Jove, flew into my face

Conjugal Manners 30: The plea of adultery: "Magistrates, my client is sure of the fact. But this personal conviction is not enough to satisfy him; it is necessary for him to share it with your tribunal, with those listeners gathered here... with the whole of France. Such was the task taken upon myself in the intererst of my client, and I believe that I have made the issue clear before you. Now, it only remains for my client to see... his social position confirmed by a fair judgement, and you are very just. Magistrates, do not refuse him this last satisfaction."

Caricaturana 80: Robert Macaire shareholder: But Mr.Macaire, when I distributed these dividends, you knew that they were taken on the capital? －What does it matter! you didn't have the right to distribute them, you should refund them to us. －Refund them to you!!! but you accepted them, it's up to you to refund them! －You didn't have the right to distribute them to us, that's my opinion and I'm sticking to it, you should pay them back to us, that's my opinion and I'm sticking to it

News 40: － It is not true that this tragedy contains beauties of the first order... and yet it was refused by the committee of the Théâtre Français and even by that of the Odéon... there is only one thing left: I am going to leave my manuscript with the caretaker of the Gymnasium, without giving my name!

NEWS 105: THE REJUVENATION OF THE CONSTITUTIONEL [sic] FOLLOWING THE REJUVENATION OF AESON: I read in Mr. de Chompre's book that the aged Aeson was in earlier times perfectly rejuvenated by making him simmer in a stew-pot with a multitude of small spices, such as marshmallow roots, lizard, sticks of liquorice and toads... but the precise recipe of this stew has been lost... I have imagined new ingredients, but unfortunately they are devilishly expensive! I think I would have done better to preserve my old fellow by －having him stuffed by Mr. Gannat!

LIFE'S HAPPY DAYS 30: A CUSTOM OF INDIA: My dear friend, I come to make my most sincere compliments to you... our prince is definitely dead, and it is to you, the oldest officer of the palace, that befalls the distinguished honour of accompanying his wives to the pyre, where you will burn with them!..

NEWS 59: THE INCONVENIENCE OF DINING WITH A SCHOLAR WHO LIKES MAKING CHEMISTRY AND OTHER EXPERIMENTS. － Well now, without your wuestioning it, I have just make you all eat fritillary... I'm curious to know positively if it's a safe food able to replace the potato or if it's poison

NEWS 110: －Great Prince Muley, son of Muley, do you deign to place yourself in the shade beneath this object... the Englishman who had the kindness to make over this object to me for a hundred gold pieces told me that it was of excellent use in all the storms of life... －Let me be... it's useless... the day when the French took away my parasol, I caught sunstroke from which I shall never recover!..

MISADVENTURES AND DISAPPOINTMENT OF MR.GOGO 4: But my dear Gogo, you're joking, how can you leave in your business the three thousand francs my daughter brings you, and the two hundred thousand francs for which you are indebted to her?... do you consider that? to expose the fortune of my child to the risks of commerce!... and if you don't succeed,... if you die, my daughter will then be ruined?... not so, not so, if you please! you're going to marry according to dowry regulations, to put into a good mortgage,... Devil take it! I should foresee a separation, today you're a friend, tomorrow you're not, you see it all the time

MISADVENTURES AND DISAPPOINTMENT OF MR.GOGO 4: But my dear Gogo, you're joking, how can you leave in your business the three thousand francs my daughter brings you, and the two hundred thousand francs for which you are indebted to her?... do you consider that? to expose the fortune of my child to the risks of commerce!... and if you don't succeed,... if you die, my daughter will then be ruined?... not so, not so, if you please! you're going to marry according to dowry regulations, to put into a good mortgage,... Devil take it! I should foresee a separation, today you're a friend, tomorrow you're not, you see it all the time

[NEWS] MR. PRUDHOMME － My son, remember this memorable day on which you have seen demolished forever the wall of the custom's post... remember that sooner or later, philosophy, the product of human reason will similarly overturn the barriers of social prejudices!... LITTLE ADOLPHE － Yes, papa!... but I say..., papa,... why are they rebuilding them a bit further away?..

NEWS 278: － Yes, missis Fribochon, there was, three weeks ago, a veru big earth tremor in Bordeaux, and no later than the day before yesterday, between midnight and three in the morning I felt jolts in my bed that weren't natural... mister Potard, the herbalist, explained this Phenomenon to me... he claims that it's owing to the government that allows too much digging up of the land in California and that it'll end up by playing a dirty trick on all of us in the Batignolles..

NEWS 99: IMPRESSIONS OF A JOURNEY BY A GREAT POET: “One of the curiosities of Frankfurt that will soon disappear, I fear, is the butcher's shop. it [sic] is impossible to see a more splendid pile of fresh flesh. The bloody butchers and pink butchers’ wives chat gracefully under garlands of legs of mutton. A red stream, its colour barely altered by two gushing fountains, runs and smokes in the middle of the street!” (The Rhine by Victor Hugo Volume 2 page 357)

Caricaturana 92: Sir, I despise the charlatanism of the poster, I despise the Puffs of the advertisement, I abhor everything which smells of the charalatan, the tumbler, the rope-dancer, and I limit myself to producing with all naivete and foolishness my merchandise. Read my catalogue! Scent of love, esteem and friendship, in phials from the Middle-Ages... Extract of the smile of infancy －Perfume of Adolphe's first steps－ Water of the peoples' alliance, for the handkerchief, with Beranger's song. Perfume of General Foy, a scent to strengthen the brain's fibre and to remind the French of their liberties and rights guaranteed by the constitutional charter. Surrounded by an oration given upon the tomb of the immortal deputy by one of his honourable colleagues. You see, it's impossible to be more simple