NEWS 250: A DREAM WHICH TURNS INTO REALITY. Seeing himself forced to gulp down the broth which had been prepared for him by Peter the Great

THE TEMPTATION OF THE NEW St. ANTHONY: In that particular time, a great and fat sinner named Véron felt himself touched by grace: having reflected that the Press was a priesthood, he became a hermit and retired to a wild place in the midst of the steepest mountains of Montmartre. There, he spent his days and nights in prayer, and as a means of mortification, imposed upon himself as a penitence the continual re-reading of the list of subscribers to the Constitutionnel. －For his only food, Véron took at long intervals a light fragment of Regnauld pâté. －The Devil, irritated by this edifying yet unexpected conversion employed different strategies to make St. Véron succumb to his temptations, but our noble coenobite knew how to resist those things which until recently had held so many charms for him: Satan, who had taken the form of the Constitutionnel in order come in person to tempt St. Véron, returned to the road for Paris, furious. －The anchorite of Montmartre has, since this time, been placed in the rank of the greatest saints which Parisian journalism honours, and is especially supplicated by the unfortunates who have a head cold

JOURNEY TO CHINA 17: THE PENAL CODE. The Chinese legislators have decreed that all the accused will answer a summons freely in front of their judges, and so they are brought before the examining magistrate between two policemen and bound with handcuffs, which in fact leaves them no more liberty than to sneeze. Moreover justice is delivered with such promptness in the Celestial Empire that it is very rare for he who has been cautioned to remain more than eight months before attending his trial, finally the solemn day arrives when he sees himself sentenced to a fortnight in prison, and the capped mandarin has the goodness to explain to him that this fortnight is not to be confused with the eight months he has already spent behind bolted doors

JOURNEY TO CHINA 3: THE CUSTOMS. Having arrived at customs, the traveller is examined, ransacked, undressed and rifled －His clothes are not admitted to [this country], since they make them in China; －His wig [is], because they do not make them; －His boots, because leather is prohibited; －His clyster-pump, because it is a mechanical object with a suspect use... they seize everything and make him pay duty for the rest, after which, he is as free as the air..

MONOMANIACS 7: THE HYPOCHONDRIAC: This class of citizens is the providence of medicine, the blessing of pharmacy, it is the Nymph Egeria who has inspired white mustard, Paraguay-Roux, the Regnault pâte, the Clyso-bolus and generally all the inventions destined to comfort non-suffering humanity. The hypochondriac gives himself by turns pleurisy, consumption Etc. Etc. He varies his illness in order to vary his pleasures and each day he exclaims, on feeling his pulse, “I truly must have an iron constitution to be able to resist all these illnesses.”

TODAY'S PHILANTHROPISTS 9: “Yesterday, in the rue St. Honoré, a respectable old man fell, struck by an attack of apoplexy, it would have been the end of him had not the celebrated Doctor Cabassol, who was by chance at his window at No. 107, hastened to fly to his aid: thanks to intelligent and prodigious help together with the most touching solicitude the sick man was promptly restored to life. Our celebrated Doctor Cabassol topping his generous behaviour wanted to receive as payment for his care only the thanks of a family which will eternally bless his name. Honour to Doctor Cabassol!” －Look here, it's you who's the respectable old man in question, yesterday you failed to fall when coming to see me, you could have injured yourself and then I could have saved you... I contrived it all a little more dramatically for the newspaper... it won't do you any harm and it'll do me a lot of good!

Parisian Freebooters 12: The Crocodile: This has to do with a variety of species of Crocodile, which was known to the ancients under the name of Tantalus and which a Gymnasium naturalist of our time has called the Gastronome without money. This voracious whale-like creature is most commonly found in the localities of Merchants of Eatables. His teeth are pointed and very long from lack of exercise, since he uses only his eyes to devour. When he has had the perseverance to remain for a whole day static in front of his prey he sometimes ends up by having the luck to catch... a crick in the neck. He feeds himself only on desires and vain hopes, he is also remarkably thin. Very different from other fish of his species that swim in open water, this type of Crocodile is always in the dry