Parisian Freebooters 12: The Crocodile: This has to do with a variety of species of Crocodile, which was known to the ancients under the name of Tantalus and which a Gymnasium naturalist of our time has called the Gastronome without money. This voracious whale-like creature is most commonly found in the localities of Merchants of Eatables. His teeth are pointed and very long from lack of exercise, since he uses only his eyes to devour. When he has had the perseverance to remain for a whole day static in front of his prey he sometimes ends up by having the luck to catch... a crick in the neck. He feeds himself only on desires and vain hopes, he is also remarkably thin. Very different from other fish of his species that swim in open water, this type of Crocodile is always in the dry

MONOMANIACS 3: THE EXPERT: There are Experts and Experts, as there are Uncouth Peolple and Uncouth People. Firtly [there is] the Expert who knows (this is the rarest type); then the Expert who knows nothing, or knows stupid and useless things, that is to say, less than nothing. The Expert of these different categories passes for a profound, serious man; he is in a very good position, and makes a reputation in the world, like all who are hollow. He passes his days full of pleasures and free from failings, except that he is subject to the Cross of Honoour and the Academy

MONOMANIACS 3: THE EXPERT: There are Experts and Experts, as there are Uncouth Peolple and Uncouth People. Firtly [there is] the Expert who knows (this is the rarest type); then the Expert who knows nothing, or knows stupid and useless things, that is to say, less than nothing. The Expert of these different categories passes for a profound, serious man; he is in a very good position, and makes a reputation in the world, like all who are hollow. He passes his days full of pleasures and free from failings, except that he is subject to the Cross of Honoour and the Academy

French Types 11: The Restaurant owner: This Gentleman who wipes the tables, arranges the stools, greets everyone and gravely walks about with a serviette in his hand, he is the master of the establishment. He has from Fifteen to Fifty thousand pounds revenue... How much has Châteaubriant ?..

NEWS 189: John Bull swears that he is attached to the son of Theodore by an indissoluble tie

NEWS 44: WATER FROM THE WELL OF GRENELLE: －Certainly this hot water is very bad to drink. －Yes, but there are many small insects in it!

NEWS 44: WATER FROM THE WELL OF GRENELLE: －Certainly this hot water is very bad to drink. －Yes, but there are many small insects in it!

JOURNEY TO CHINA 17: THE PENAL CODE. The Chinese legislators have decreed that all the accused will answer a summons freely in front of their judges, and so they are brought before the examining magistrate between two policemen and bound with handcuffs, which in fact leaves them no more liberty than to sneeze. Moreover justice is delivered with such promptness in the Celestial Empire that it is very rare for he who has been cautioned to remain more than eight months before attending his trial, finally the solemn day arrives when he sees himself sentenced to a fortnight in prison, and the capped mandarin has the goodness to explain to him that this fortnight is not to be confused with the eight months he has already spent behind bolted doors

The Disasters of War: This is worse

NEWS 29: AT THE DOOR OF THE ÉLYSÉE [PALACE]: －Sirs, the Prince has told me to tell you that he is not there! －What! does he no longer wish to follow our advice? －No. he [sic] claims that you've already stuffed him full of it as it is... －Hapless France! hapless Prince!

NEWS 85: －This trunk is no one's, therefore it ought to belong to us

THIS IS A BOOK

THIS IS A BOOK

NEWS 219: Perceiving that in thinking of digging foundations{,] he dug his grave

NEWS 219: Perceiving that in thinking of digging foundations{,] he dug his grave

NEWS 219: Perceiving that in thinking of digging foundations{,] he dug his grave

MONOMANIACS 1: THE BEASTOPHILE: The supreme happiness of the Beastophile is to make in his home a small menagerie in the bosom of which he spends his life. One can truly apply to him the proverb: “Tell me whom you associate with, [and] I’ll tell you who you are.”

BOHEMIANS OF PARIS 24: THE KNIGHT OF THE GOLDEN SPUR: This so-called former Colonel of the Papal Guard, later aide-de-camp to the Prince of Monaco, awaiting as a prize for his services a distinguished post in the Government!... he would, however, willingly accept a tabacconist's shop or a position as an inspector of [street] sweeping; besides [this] he is a gallant man like all knights of his order, for a trifle demanding satisfaction from five-year-old children, perfectly making excuses from the moment you look at him in the face

NEWS 145: The Emperor Soulouque, having learned that a European journalist permitted himself to criticise some of the acts of his administration, arrived to sieze the guilty man and plunged him into a cooking pot full of boiling tar －All with the hope that this would serve as a lesson to this hack and that he would not write a second article against his majesty. (Official prefect of Haiti.) (Note from le Charivari) －This ingenious method to curb the deviations of the Press is recommended for the meditation of the Burgraves

Ancient History 31: The fall of Icarus. As the sun roasted his wings, / His old scoundrel of a father, inventor of this contrivance, / Said, watching him fall through the eternal vaults: / Assuredly, this is no good (A poet who travels only by carriage)

NEWS 200: A VISIT TO THE CONVICT-PRISON IN NAPLES: Mr.Gladstone－ And what do you call this man? he doesn't look like a villain. The Gaolor－ Don't you believe any of it, on the contrary,he's a demagogue, an old constitutional minister of 1848 called Carlo Poërio. In his inexhaustible clemency the best and most worthy of kings ordered that we chain him to an assassin, so that he might return to the good. He'd have been completely lost if we'd left him with another demagogue

He Never Told His Love, 1884

The Representatives Represented / The Legislative Assembly 17: Félix Saint-Priest: Proof with letters. － de St. Priest is no less celebrated for his postal reforms than for his playful character. Since [the sending of] letters has been four sous, de St. Priest has not much to do; but, to keep himself busy, he has tried for some time to alter his blue spectacles; at least, that's what I conclude from the way he wears them!

PARLIAMENTARY IDYLLS 12: Cupid, a shrewd god, but full of vanity, / Bounds upon the table at the risk of a sprain, / In order to prove that his figure is wholly beautiful, / Between the two candlesticks he shows them his torso!

Conjugal Manners 30: The plea of adultery: "Magistrates, my client is sure of the fact. But this personal conviction is not enough to satisfy him; it is necessary for him to share it with your tribunal, with those listeners gathered here... with the whole of France. Such was the task taken upon myself in the intererst of my client, and I believe that I have made the issue clear before you. Now, it only remains for my client to see... his social position confirmed by a fair judgement, and you are very just. Magistrates, do not refuse him this last satisfaction."